Let them eat lard - but give them jobs

It wasn't until I went to university that I realised you didn't need a tin opener to eat fruit. It was quite a discovery that peaches, for example, didn't in nature swim in a sea of syrup, and a real shock when I saw a pineapple for the first time au naturelle (blimey - what was the Almighty up to when he thought of that one?). But then, I was born some time in the 14th century in a universe far from here - or at least it feels like that sometimes.